Senza Gluten and a Job

If you know me, you probably know I have been searching for a job for some months. These potential gigs are, of course, in dance education and some arts administrative positions. After many rejections and many conversations with Ashay, I have decided to put my job search on pause – for now. Sometimes it makes sense to just take a beat, especially if you’ve been taking a beating. 

Friday night, we happened upon a gluten-free Italian restaurant in the West Village, which initially delighted my gluten-free husband – that is, until the check came at the end of the evening. Damn, those two glasses of wine I enjoyed really added up! Speaking of adding up, so have my rejections, which I am crumbling under the weight of. During our al fresco dinner, as we watched the people of NYC stroll by, we both spoke of what it means to try and create a new version of yourself. The questions for me rose up as my Rosè went down. Who am I if I am no longer a dance educator? A choreographer? 

I’ve been analyzing the reasons behind my job search struggles, perhaps even overthinking them sometimes. In the words of my dear friend, it can be pretty demoralizing. On several occasions, I have found myself in the hopeful and exciting final rounds of interviews and decision-making only to receive the “we regret to inform you” or “we won’t be moving on with you” emails. It has been crushing me. I find myself asking why. What am I lacking? Which, in turn, feeds into a lifelong quest for acceptance and my ongoing insecurities. I hate to admit it, but I have never been good enough, significant enough – at least in my own mind. 

Acknowledging my privilege, I realize that I have the luxury of taking the time to figure things out due to my husband’s job security. I have the opportunity to search for a path that allows me to express my creativity.

And while I am so lucky to have the time, it also feels challenging and unnerving. So, I’m curious, dear readers – the few of you who may have gotten this far – how do you cope with rejection? Have you had to pivot? How do you navigate a new future? 

I am eager to hear your experiences and insights as I embark on this process of self-discovery and transformation. Chances are I’ll be sipping a rosè while contemplating your contributions. Oh, and if you’re ever in the West Village and want to enjoy a lovely glutenless meal, try Senza Gluten! It was delizioso! Cheers to new discoveries – in both life and food!