On reunions…On justice…On Pandemics…On goodbyes

It’s been a few days since I’ve sat down at my computer to notate some insights about life, love, and navigation. 

Ashay and I became empty-nesters about 12 weeks ago, for those of you who might not know. And so, I was visiting another city, Boston, for the long weekend to be with my great love – my daughter, Akasha. Our Akasha, the one who makes our trio whole, my best friend, began her college journey in Massachusetts. 

On reunions…

On that 1st day of September, I liken our moment of saying goodbye to our daughter to something straight out of a movie. The rain was pouring, our tears were streaming, and my breath was so caught up in my throat I could barely breathe. This past week marks the 2nd time we have traveled to Boston to visit Akasha since our parting. The first moment of each reunion offers the sweetest moment, the biggest hug, and the most resounding sigh of relief. It was a lovely weekend, filled with food, hugs, deep conversations, the Nutcracker, and a night of karaoke. 

Of course, there is always a goodbye now, tagged at the end of glorious weekends. But, that, I suppose, is life. It is filled with beautiful memories that are bookended with beautiful reunions and sorrowful goodbyes. 

On justice…

While we were in Boston, the verdict in the Ahmaud Arbery case came out. Days prior, I watched, fascinated as I am during a trial with the legal language and the navigation through all of the rules and laws, as the defense utilized racism and victim-blaming for their obviously guilty clients. I was worried that this case would follow in the footsteps of trials past, and an acquittal would be the conclusion. A sense of relief that justice prevailed and the guilty verdicts for each of the murderers were announced. But, just as suddenly as my relief came, so did the reality of why I felt it. So many times over, there is no fairness. Racist murderers are acquitted all the time. My heart also realized that Ahmaud’s family still does not have him in their lives. And no amount of singular justice can erase the decades and decades of racism, violence, and hate. We all need to be better, to do better. I know that is a simple statement, and I wish I had a more profound way to say it – but there it is – do better. 

On pandemics…

While in Boston, there was the news of yet another variant. We do not yet know how serious it is, if at all. Still, the notion that this virus – as many viruses do – has limitless possibilities of mutation has me wondering, will we ever be out of the woods entirely? Maybe, but my guess is this is something we learn to live with as we continue to mask up, vax up, and take care of each other. 

Lastly, on goodbyes…

Saying goodbye has now become our new normal. Until September, our goodbyes were more of a “see ya in a few hours” or “I’ll see you tomorrow” if she were sleeping over at a friend’s house. But now, when we say goodbye, it feels like a bit of a heartbreak each time. So far, we’ve known exactly when we’ll see each other again, but I fear that as the months and years pass, our time away from Akasha will grow longer, and we won’t always know when we’ll meet again. And this is how it is supposed to be – or so I’m told. I have to wonder if it gets easier. Will our bond begin to slip away? I imagine it will change in some form or another. Again, heartbreaking. But for now, I’ll cherish the long first hugs of the reunion, enjoy the times we have together, and not focus too much on the sorrowful goodbyes. Life’s joys really are found in the present moment.

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